[Chanelbaby]: Hello? Baby? Are you driving?
[Bartender Dude]: Uh, yeah, I'm driving home. I'm almost there. I just called you like five minutes ago from the restaurant.
[Chanelbaby]: Okay well I'm sorry butI'mnakedandI'mcoldandIcan'tfindmy PEEEJAAAYYYYS!!!
[Bartender Dude]: (pause)
[Bartender Dude]: Are they on the chair?
[Chanelbaby]: (whimpering pause) Nooooo....
[Bartender Dude]: (another pause)
[Bartender Dude]: Oh, you put them in the guest room.
I ask you, can the man be real? Is this even fair? I don't know what I did in a former life to get this lucky in love, but I MUST have thrown myself in front of a train to save orphaned, parapelegic babies, thus saving them from their crack-dealing pimp.